Have you ever pondered a popular quote from a popular author? Ever read something and thought Wow! That's just too good not to share? Thanks to the miracles of modern technology, now anyone can share a special quote with everyone.
Of course, just because you find interesting or poignant, that doesn't mean others will, right? Well, what if lots of people find the same quote interesting?
Here's a summary of the top 2 most popular quotes taken from the most popular comedy titles as reported by Kindle readers...
1) But Brian was never your friend. Brian never thought about anyone but Brian. He was always the most important person in the room. A best friend is someone you can call up in the middle of the night because you’re afraid or mad or in jail, and that person will drop everything to help.
2) but her death left a gaping hole in my heart, rather than in my actual life. On a day-to-day basis, I barely missed her. It was knowing that she was no longer a part of my physical universe that broke my heart.
Better Off Without Him
- Dee Ernst
1) In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
2) By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your f*cking life.
Bossypants
- Tina Fey
1) The moment you stop planning and let life happen, you will start enjoying your stay.
2) The world around her moved in a set pattern. When she had been in school people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. When she was working, people asked her when she would get married. When she became engaged, people asked her when she was planning to have babies.
Love Muffin And Chair Latte
- Anya Wylde
1) One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.
2) As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
- Mindy Kaling
1) a man, however much he lives under the illusion, is never in control.
2) A decent moustache can intimidate a man, while a great moustache can frighten an army.
Penelope
- Anya Wylde
1) As a child, he’d always been fascinated by magic. In more recent years, however, reality started to creep in just a bit deeper with every pizza he delivered. Pizza was real. Magic wasn’t. The imagination of his youth had been squeezed out of his soul like toothpaste.
2) I'm not a doctor, but on a scale of one to ten, I'd rate it pretty f*cking bad.
Critical Failures
- Robert Bevan
1) Our life may be planned for us, but we are wholly responsible for how that life is lived. Are you going to be angry or bitter when something bad happens, or are you going to be strong and make the best of a bad situation? When you accomplish something great, will you take all the blessings for yourself, or share them with those who helped you along the way? When a great gift is given, do you embrace and rejoice in that gift, or look for the strings you think are attached?
2) I see, every day, people who choose to live their lives with acceptance and gratitude. They are the happiest of God’s creatures, even if they are the shadow people that most of society never sees. I also see the evil and hatred. That is also a choice. But never the right one.
A Slight Change of Place
- Dee Ernst
1) “This is gayer than being f*cked by pirates,” said Dave, shaking his head and covering his junk.
2) “Not bad,” said Cooper. “But just so you know… People have been known to use the Mount spell in ways other than finding new and creative methods to murder horses. Hell, some crazy f*ckers even ride them.”
d6 (Caverns and Creatures)
- Robert Bevan
1) A body in motion tends to stay in motion until it smashes into the ground in a huge pulpy dead mess.
2) You crazy sons of bitches. Your scrotum must be made of two Bags of Holding.
Critical Failures II
- Robert Bevan
1) But you learn more from f*cking up than you do from success, unfortunately. And failure, if you don’t let it defeat you, is what fuels your future success.
2) There’s a great rabbinical motto that says you start each day with a note in each pocket. One note says, “The world was created for you today,” and the other note says, “I’m a speck of dust in a meaningless universe,” and you have to balance both things.
Sick in the Head
- Judd Apatow
1) Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
2) Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
Born Standing Up
- Steve Martin
1) No, but just because I don’t know for a fact what actually happened, it doesn’t mean I have to accept the first crackpot theory somebody pulls out of their ass. That’s how religions are formed.
2) Nothing but stares and silence. If laughter was people, Dave would be a war criminal.
Critical Failures IV
- Robert Bevan
1) All of us develop our expectations about how people will treat us based on our relationships with our parents. If those relationships are, for the most part, emotionally nourishing, respectful of our rights and feelings, we’ll grow up expecting others to treat us in much the same way. . . . But if childhood is a time of unrelenting anxiety, tension, and pain, then we develop negative expectations and rigid defenses.
2) As Susan Forward says in her insightful book, Toxic Parents,
Johnny Carson
- Jenry Bushkin
1) So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
2) Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mind-set so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.
Seriously…I'm Kidding
- Ellen DeGeneres
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