Most popular quotes from the most popular satire authors

Have you ever pondered a popular quote from a popular author? Ever read something and thought Wow! That's just too good not to share? Thanks to the miracles of modern technology, now anyone can share a special quote with everyone.

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Here's a summary of the top 2 most popular quotes taken from the most popular satire titles as reported by Kindle readers...

1) There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.

2) it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Catch-22
- Joseph Heller

1) Almost nobody’s competent, Paul. It’s enough to make you cry to see how bad most people are at their jobs. If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.

2) “He’d pull me back into the center, and I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” He nodded. “Big, undreamed-of things—the people on the edge see them first.”

Player Piano
- Kurt Vonnegut

1) I have to wonder if obedience isn’t the basic flaw in most of humankind.

2) The Second Amendment, written by the Anglo James Madison, a slave owner, says, “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” As long as the poor people in this country kill each other, which is what so many of them are doing day after day, the federal government, obviously, is content to regard them, as Columbus might have done, as a well-regulated militia.

Sucker's Portfolio
- Kurt Vonnegut

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Most popular quotes from the most popular satire authors

Here's a summary of the top 2 most popular quotes taken from the most popular satire titles as reported by Kindle readers...

1) Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

2) And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

1) New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.

2) She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind.

1) It took us that long to realize that a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

2) "The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody,” she said, “would be to not be used for anything by anybody."

1) Humans aren’t ants; we aren’t bees. There is no communal intelligence. We talk but we don’t really hear each other. We are not a community, no matter how we pretend otherwise.

2) a tux is really only a black backdrop against which to place a woman and her dress.

1) Ideas on Earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter. Friends agreed with friends, in order to express friendliness. Enemies disagreed with enemies, in order to express enmity.

2) Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.

2) it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

1) He says that life is a road trip, and we make a lot of wrong turns. At the end of the trip, we’ll forget the mundane highway drives, but remember the wrong turns.

2) “There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.” ~Mae West

1) There is no sensation so addicting as appreciation from a member of the opposite sex.

2) I promise myself at the ripe age of thirty-four, I am finally going to try to see my family as they really are and not as my insecurities would have me believe them to be.

1) I’d apparently misunderstood the sexual deprivation and borderline psychotic fantasies of this country’s romance-reading community.

2) He’s the kind of guy who makes Channing F*ck-My-Face Tatum dancing to Pony in Magic Mike look like an incompetent and ungraceful slouch.

1) Almost nobody’s competent, Paul. It’s enough to make you cry to see how bad most people are at their jobs. If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.

2) “He’d pull me back into the center, and I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” He nodded. “Big, undreamed-of things—the people on the edge see them first.”

1) We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it.

2) What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they had been up for three hours and already conquered France.

1) Then you’re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

2) You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.

1) The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

2) H. L. Mencken once said something to the effect that “Nobody ever went broke overestimating the vulgarity of the American people,”

1) I have to wonder if obedience isn’t the basic flaw in most of humankind.

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